Family to Family: Leaving a Lasting Legacy
by Jerry Pipes and Victor Lee
AUTHOR INFORMATION
As the president of Jerry Pipes Productions, Jerry Pipes is a sought after speaker and preacher and has spoken around the world for over three decades (Pipes, 2013). Jerry Pipes is also the author of numerous books and booklets that focus primarily on personal growth and family oriented topics (Pipes, 2013). Additionally, Pipes holds a masters of arts from Southwestern and a Doctorate of Ministry from Luther Rice Seminary (Pipes, 2013). Co-author Victor Lee is a professional author providing Christian content that focuses on discipleship and evangelism with a special emphasis on sports evangelism (Pipes and Lee 1999, back cover). Furthermore, Lee has been a consultant for the North American Mission Board, an organization that supports Southern Baptists, and has worked as a minister at First Baptist Concord Church in Knoxville, Tennessee (Moore, 2013). Finally, Lee also has worked as the biblical counseling director at Wears Valley Ranch, a ministry that provides Christian homes for children in crisis, in Sevierville, Tennessee (Pipes and Lee 1999, back cover).
SUMMARY
The thesis of Jerry Pipes and Victor Lee’s book is that parents can provide a meaningful and significant family experience and pass the Christian faith to their children (Pipes and Lee 1999, 1). The purpose of Family to Family is to help parents discover the purpose, mission, and values of their family while simultaneously making time to spiritually mentor their children (3). Pipes and Lee begin by asserting that American families are facing a crisis (6-8). The authors then define a healthy family as one who spends quantity and quality time together, commits to love each other, encourages equal involvement of both parents, aligns significance with a life in Christ, passes faith to the next generation, and centers on God’s purposes (11-15). Pipes and Lee continue by referencing the book Experiencing God to provide a framework for families to join God in His work and purposes (15-16). Each chapter concludes with questions, applications, activities, and Scripture to assist families in integrating the book’s concepts (19-22).
Chapter two focusses on developing a family mission statement. Pipes and Lee suggest that prioritizing family life around a family mission statement decreases the risk of children rebelling (23). The authors then furnish a number of Scriptures that define Christ’s mission to use as a guideline in developing a family’s mission (27-32). A discussion then ensues regarding how to develop a family mission statement, which proposes that families take an inventory, consider the goals, conceptualize the mission, and personalize the statement (33-34). Finally, Pipes and Lee list a number of warnings about and examples of family mission statements (35-36).
Passing the Christian faith to the next generation is the subject matter of chapter three. First, Pipes and Lee address how parents may assess the age of accountability, and then the authors enumerate the minimum requirements to present the Gospel (44-47). Pipes and Lee then give a number of guidelines to address teenagers followed by a discussion regarding mentoring (47-50). Specifically, the key elements of mentoring include modeling, availability, affirmation, prayer, transparency, empowerment, and God’s Word (52-58). Finally, the authors address the issues of family worship and identify a number of myths regarding family devotions (58-63).
Chapter four addresses the issue of family evangelism. Specifically, the authors encourage families to look, listen, and linger in order to extend evangelistic efforts through service (72-73). Pipes and Lee then offer a few tips for family evangelism followed by a plethora of ideas for families to consider as practical ways to reach the lost (74-84). The ideas range from writing an encouraging note to initiatives that are more elaborate, such as developing a Backyard Bible Club during the summer (76, 78). Finally, the authors address the issue of reaching families with special needs children, which constitute a large unreached population (84-86).
Pipes and Lee assert three ways to connect family ministry to church, which is the topic of chapter five (92). First, neighborhood block parties provide a safe environment for nonbelievers to develop relationships with other members of the church and increase the chance of attending church (92-93). Next, family mission trips are a way for families to connect beyond the local community and may occur in partnership with the local church (93-96). Finally, families can collaborate with their local church by packaging the Jesus Video as a gift to neighbors, which creates opportunities to follow up and invite the local community to church (96-97).
The final chapter focuses on how to share the Gospel once the family builds relational bridges. First, the authors highlight the importance of prayer in reaching the lost (103-105). Next, Pipes and Lee address the role of the Holy Spirit as a guide within a believer’s witness and as the agent of general revelation in the nonbeliever (106-108). The authors then encourage believers to ask about family, interests, and religion before asking permission to share the message (114-115). Pipes and Lee conclude by advising families to choose a method of evangelism that stresses repentance such as a testimony, a memorized presentation, or a witnessing booklet (115-117).
STRENGTHS AND WEAKNESSES
The theme of Pipes and Lee’s book that parents can provide a meaningful and significant family experience and pass the Christian faith to their children is quite relevant and convincing in an American society that many have coined post-Christian. The authors provide evidence that partially supports the theme through numerous stories of practical experience and specific ideas regarding how to provide meaning, significance, and faith to family members. The authors also partially fulfill the objective, which is to help parents discover the purpose, mission, and values of their family, while simultaneously making time to mentor children spiritually. Although Pipes and Lee do provide a number of tools to assist parents, the broad nature of the purpose becomes almost impossible to fulfill completely. In the section below regarding weaknesses, a further exploration of the theme and purpose ensues.
The authors presuppose an evangelical theological perspective that appears to align with a Baptist denominational emphasis. Jerry Pipes’ educational background at Luther Rice Seminary supports an evangelical Christian context by aligning with such beliefs as the sovereignty of God, inerrancy of Scripture, depravity of humanity, substitutionary atonement, miraculous nature of the resurrection, and salvation by grace (Luther Rice University & Seminary, 2013). Furthermore, Victor Lee’s involvement with the North American Mission Board and ministry at First Baptist Concord Church likely provides the denominational Baptist perspective that encapsulates the work.
The strengths of Pipes and Lee’s work are numerous. First, Family to Family is very practical and unique. Specifically, the book provides a practical resource that uniquely focuses on the importance of evangelism within the context of family. In a country where 90 to 95 percent have chosen not to share their faith, the integration of evangelism and family life is critical to the future of Christianity and the stability of the family (Fay and Shepherd 1999, 6). By providing practical tools such as mission statements, guidelines for sharing the Christian faith with children, ideas for family evangelism, suggestions for integrating evangelism with church, and suggestions regarding sharing the Gospel, the authors have offered parents very pragmatic advice regarding the topic of faith and evangelism, which often is not discussed in a family setting outside of Sunday morning.
Second, Pipes and Lee’s writing is very accessible. The writing style and organizational structure of the work make the book appropriate for age groups ranging from middle school students through adulthood. An example of the authors’ accessibility is the utilization of the acronym FIRM. FIRM is an approach to listening that encourages believers to move into the life of nonbelievers by asking them questions about family, interests, and religion, and then asking permission to share the message of the Gospel, which is appropriate for a wide spectrum of ages. In addition, the questions, application, activities, and Scripture section at the conclusion of each chapter are also quite accessible and support immediate implementation and integration for both individuals and group learning for a variety of age groups.
Third, the authors sprinkle insights throughout the book that are quite constructive. For example, Pipes and Lee suggest never telling a child or adolescent anything that he or she can discover on their own (Pipes and Lee 1999, 61). The wisdom regarding discovery should ring true to any seasoned parent. Another example pertains to the necessity of detachment. The authors reference John 12 and suggest that when an individual focuses primarily on self, then seeing the needs of others is impossible (Pipes and Lee 1999, 74). In other words, unless Christians are able to appropriate their significance from a life in Christ, a self-focus will naturally result as believers attempt to find meaning outside of Christ, thus stifling the selflessness necessary to serve Christ and others.
A number of weaknesses also exist within Pipes and Lee’s work. The following analysis explores three key weaknesses of the book. First, and likely the most glaring weakness of the book is its difficulty in proving its thesis and completely fulfilling its purpose. Again, the theme and purpose of the book pertain to finding purpose, meaning, and significance within a family environment and passing on the Christian faith through the spiritual mentorship of family members. Without question, the authors partially prove both the thesis and purpose of the book. However, the primary focus of Family to Family pertains to a specific aspect of the Christian life, namely, evangelism. Specifically, once the authors provide a definition of a healthy family in chapter one, the remainder of the book focuses on evangelism. For example, chapter two focuses on a mission statement that presumes a mission of evangelism, chapter three focuses on evangelizing children, chapter four focuses on family evangelism, chapter five focuses on the integration of family evangelism with the local church, and the final chapter supplies a number methods to evangelize. Without question, evangelism is important, and granted, evangelism is able to encompass an entire life perspective. However, it seems that attempting to fulfill the book’s broad theme and purpose regarding family meaning, significance, and spiritual mentoring in a short work confined almost exclusively to evangelism may not be possible. In other words, it is not the content that needs revised, but the theme and purpose. If the theme and purpose aligned more closely to the importance of evangelism within the context of the family, then the work may find more clarity and alignment and enhance the reader experience.
A second related weakness pertains to the overarching concept of significance. Within the subtitle and the theme of the work, the authors specifically highlight the importance of true significance. Furthermore, Pipes and Lee appropriately identify that individuals can find true significance only in Christ (Pipes and Lee 1999, 12). However, confusion arises when the remainder the book focuses primarily on evangelism, which may lead the reader to believe that evangelism is what provides significance, rather than an identity found in Christ. In other words, an unintended risk exists that a reader may conclude that significance depends on parents sharing their faith with their children and families sharing their faith with the rest of the world. To be clear, the relationship between evangelism and identity live in close cooperation, but evangelism is the means of significance and a believer’s life in Christ is his or her significance. Pipes and Lee do not confuse the two, but due to the misalignment of theme and content, the risk remains to the reader.
The third weakness is a compendium of minor defects. First, due to the natural growth process of children, discussions regarding faith are significantly different depending on the child’s age. Although the authors recognize the issue and attempt to address different age groups, the fact remains that the subject matter is difficult to apply to a broad spectrum of ages. Second, the evangelism ideas provided by the authors seem to lean toward the interests of women and children. For example, the ideas suggested for business associates and neighbors primarily, but not exclusively, focus on baking and activities for small children (Pipes and Lee 1999, 76-79). Accordingly, additional men-oriented activities regarding sports and outdoor evangelism may benefit the work. Finally, small inconsistencies occur. For instance, the authors appropriately emphasize the importance of relationships when witnessing, but simultaneously suggest the use of witnessing booklets or tracts, which may de-emphasize the relational aspects of evangelism.
Although the weaknesses are somewhat of a distraction, the strengths certainly triumph. The content of evangelism within the framework of family provides a unique contribution that must not be underestimated. Pipes and Lee offer an important resource to any Christian family who want to share their faith to and from their family. The integration and teaching of Family to Family would be appropriate in numerous settings including small groups, family meetings, and one-on-one discipleship settings. The authors’ vision and encouragement for families to live lifestyles of evangelism on purpose are critical for current and future generations of Christians.
BIBLIOGRAPHY
Fay, William, and Linda Evans Shepherd. Share Jesus Without Fear. Nashville, TN: B&H, 1999.
Luther Rice University & Seminary. Doctrinal Statement. http://www.lru.edu/Content.aspx?page=doctrinal_statement&tool=quicklinks (accessed May 25, 2013).
Moore, Jared. Family to Family: Making a Difference by Victor Lee and Jerry Pipes: A Review. http://voices.yahoo.com/family-family-families-making-difference-victor-2369911.html?cat=9 (accessed May 25, 2013).
Pipes, Jerry. Meet Jerry Pipes. http://jerrypipesproductions.com/meet-jerry/ (accessed May 25, 2013).
Pipes, Jerry, and Victor Lee. Family to Family: Leaving a Lasting Legacy. Lawrenceville, GA: Jerry Pipes Productions, 1999.